YO!

I thought I'd pop around and write something as there seems to be more people than ever coming round this joint to read me ramblings. So here I am!

Random thought: "Zack and Miri" is an awfully awkward film to be watching with a group of friends. O_O. But oh so funny! Hahahahaha. Funniest and dirtiest scenes ever GAWD. Go watch it yourself for details.

Lawl.

Went to uni again a few times and saw ALL the attention whores again and told them to ALL GO STICK STUFF UP IN THEIR DARK PLACES. And then I got a free lemon slushie and stole some pens from the Islamic Society stall. They always have good pens.

Bought a shart-load of text books I will probably never use, dreamt of learning Chinese, Japanese and French, and slowly realised that maybe it might be a little hard. But then I said WHO CARES and dreamt of punching James Vincent in his Ghana-ish face.

But it's not his fault. He's a nice guy.

I met up with my academic mentor (mentor-ess to be more precise; I love morphology) who was really nice and indirectly encouraged me to get counselling because I didn't have a HD average the uni wanted me to get and told me that "I too know how it's like being a foreign student".

Note to self - people think I'm a foreign student! Read: exotic. Work it! Yay. Now I'll get some pity points from her. Pity she's an accounting professor. I wish I got someone from the economiccs department or something.

And I won another hannari tofu plushie from the claw game woohoo!

Eating. Rose. Meow.

I recall telling you the story of how I ate a rosebud sometime in the past but I can't seem to find the post and so I will assume I didn't. Somehow in the midst of final exam studying madness this story popped into my head.

For some reason or another (actually I know the reason but it's just too random/weird/occult to confess on the internets) I had to eat a rosebud. Yes, a rosebud. Somewhat against my will. And very much against my better judgement.

Anyway, here I was sitting on the floor at the apartment we rented for a while in Singapore during certain eventful times of my life I rather hate to relive, with a rosebud in one hand, and 5 people looking at me waiting for me to munch on it.

And so I did.

Nom.

Nom.

Nom.

Little did I know that the I didn't really have to munch on the whole damn thing, just the petals. Don't ask why, I won't tell (and I really don't know myself). And so I accidentally the whole economy (lol jkz) I accidentally ate all the stamens and fugness and bitter shit and so I was gagging to death but see I was still obliged to eat it. I asked the person if I could spit if out but he obviously he said no and he went and got me a glass of water to help it down.

You know how much I hate drinking water on its own, but I took a gulp anyway. Turns out the genius got me a cup of warm water (YUCK) and so now swirling around in my mouth was a warm soupy mixture of rosy filth.

Joy.

I almost lost control of my mouth and spat it all out but that would have had very unfortunate consequences and so somehow I managed to force myself to swallow it all, even though I was almost about to cry from how unfortunate the feeling was in my mouth (urgh the taste still torments me).

So, basically, the moral of the story is, if you offer me sugar-crusted candied rose petals, please don't be offended when I say, "f*ck off."

:)

Uni starts again JOY!

Uni started again today. Midsemester break was so amazing. As in relieving. Today was another amazingly fun day of uni. Totally radical joyful sexed up fun times.

Skipped lectures again even though I swore (for the 967578th time) that I'd go to every single one as a result of my crap-tascular results. ARGH! Studying sucks!

Anyway. I felt stupid again today. No-one can make me feel more stupid that bloody effinfg Vladimir. Why does he have to be so smart for? In MY domain too. Why, oh why. In other joyful news I get that exam result tomorrow and that will determine if I jump in front of a train or not.

Joke!

Blur.

Life just feels like a blur these days. I dunno what I'm doing anymore. Sleepy patterns are majorly weird. Travelling is the ultimate blur. Coming back home from uni is such an out-of-body experience. I sit on the train and either go to sleep (barely; weird half-way to sleep sort of state) or sit there and look out the window and think weird things all the way home. I should stop thinking so much. Walking back home when its dark its very confusing. I get moments of "huh! Where am I?"

LOL this guy at uni told me this story of how he has to walk home and it takes 15 minutes and he has to go through bushland and how he saw this MASSIVE rabbit. Then he made this face like showing how the rabbit was just sitting there eating grass it was the funniest thing ever!

Sloppy grammar that last paragraph was.

I just fixed my wireless network adapter on this laptop. Which means I can blog again! Wireless internet = secret internet use = anonymous blogging. My family is much too nosy. Die die DIE!!! For anyone using an LG comp, reinstall your drivers and use Intel PROset to handle ur intarnets.

Mum just woke up. Damn. Let the nagging begin...

In more joyful news, I found this MOST AMAZING remix of the music from this old Sierra game I used to play (Zeliard a.k.a Best. Game. Ever. Go download it illegally from somewhere.) It's done by Jason Artman (link) and this is the one I am listening to over and over and over and over...

!! LINK !! Cavern of Malicia. Ah the memories. Such innocent times.

I'm gonna go ahead and break the cardinal rule of Blogging and flood this post with so many topics and ideas and events that no one reading this will be able to keep up and thus will:

1. Spontaneously combust...
2. Die in another evil way or worst...
3. Close the window and never come back.

I just watched a 5 minute clip of Tila Tequila trying to find love. Or something like that. Please someone kill me. I am scarred for life.

The Olympics volleyball is amazing. I just watched America VS Bulgaria. I went for Bulgaria. I love rooting for underdogs. Anyway, volleyballers really like to touch each other's butts. It's so very ... umm ... interesting. Disconcerting? Hmm. One day I want to represent Australia in the Olympics. Has the ship passed my harbour and left me behind?

Probably.

I've seen some really weird things involving a monkey and a toad recently on the internet. Do not Google monkey + toad. DO NOT DO IT. Ok now that you've gone and scarred your eyeballs allow me to put them out with my handy dandy pens which I bought on an impulse buying spree at uni.

Best pens ever!

A bee sat (can bees sit?) on my arm today at the train station when I was waiting for the train. It was freaky. I hate bees. A bee stung me on my eyelid and so now I an apiarophobic. I made that word up based on my knowledge of English morphology.

Turns out I'm wrong. It's apiphobia. Close enough! Interesting note: Apeirophobia is the fear of infinity. How ridiculous! Actually, it's not that ridiculous. I had this dream once where I had to run down this really long spiral staircase. It was freaky.

The toilet lightbulb blew so I had to shit in the dark. It was uncomfortable. In uni today in my actuarial studies tutorial I got put in a group with Alex. That was even more uncomfortable. It's not his fault though. I'm just a bit awkward sometimes.

But it's ok.

Random...

Spaghetti out of a can is just freakin' nasty. Do not try!! I would find a picture but I'm too lazy. Blogs without pictures are boring. No-one reads my blog. I want to earn $500 a week from my blog. GIVE ME MONEY!

Baked beans out of a can are quite tasty though. Never tried beef curry out of a can. Apparently its nice. According to Facebook my typing speed is 81 words/minute. Which is decent I suppose.

Hillary Clinton is so weird. Why'd she lie about that sniper thing for? I don't want to be one of those people who just HATE her just cos she's her, but still. She's so random. 3 am phone call scare tactics are just weird...

In other news, my friends want to go to the Royal Easter Show tomorrow and I want to go but I'm so broke. Damn scholarship money hasn't come in yet. I hate my job. Tutoring kiddies is hell. Especially when they don't answer their damn phones.

Want to know why I'm broke? Cos I love buying cake decorating equipment much too much. I like to make cakes. Have you noticed? Of course you have. I sound insane. Yay. But seriously. Cake decorating stuff (DAMN YOU WILTON) is so expensive:

All hail Tibet.

Co-op

To Whom It May Concern (a.k.a. silly co-op people),

MAY YOUR ANAL SPHINCTERS BE TORN BY THE FORCE OF A CACTUS PENETRATION. I HOPE YOUR RECTAL PASSAGES ARE SHREDDED TO RIBBONS SO THAT FAECES WILL LEAK INTO BLADDER AND YOU PISS SHIT. MAY YOU BE STRANGLED BY YOUR OWN INTESTINES, YOUR HEADS IMPLODE, YOUR EYEBALLS EXPLODE, AND YOUR TONGUES RIPPED OUT AND SHOVED INTO YOUR ASSHOLES.

BURN IN HELL FUCKERS!!

Yours faithfully,

The-one-who-will-fuck-you-all-over-in-20-years-time.

(Sorry ya'll, private moment.)