Letter to the Pisser

Dear Mr Tomkat,

While I do realise your pissing all over my door-step at least once a week is the only way you know how to express your deep feelings of love for the 3 female cats of my household, I must inform you that not only does it make me want to wringe your neck from the disgusting smell that only a strong bleach-assisted scrubbing will remove, but also that all the 3 pretty female cats that prance around tempting you with their bodies have, unfortunately, had their female parts removed, and so they are as butch as they come and have utterly no interest in you or your strange masculine cat pissing rituals.

XOXO.

- Ahmad.