Fixing the Distiller: Part ONE!

My family happens to be one of those weird ones that doesn't happen to believe in drinking tap-water. Or in fluoridation of our water supplies. My teeth are pretty good (even though I'm the biggest lazy-ass with *ahem* erratic brushing habits) so it can't be all that important. Anyway, so in order to get clean water, we use a water distiller! Unlike boiling all the junk gets left behind (as you shall see later FUFUFU) but I can't be bothered propagandise-ing it to you so go Google it.

ANYWAY the distiller broke down. LOL! After all that explanation. Haha! And since we are as povo as it gets (read: poor and deprived of money), and since I am the resident family slave, I had to fix it. The distiller broke down (something to do with short-curcuit something) and the pipe popped and had to be replaced or some crap.

So today I will be telling to you the joyous story of how I replaced the pipe, and got a little white one to join with a fat green one and they lived happily ever after. Onward!

First, I replaced the rusty old tap-hose jointure thingy with a new brass one. Then I cut the fat green hose to size and shoved it in nice and tight.

"Hallo skinny white dude." Ok, I was gonna start a hole dialogue (LOL PUN) between the skinny white one and the fat green one but then I realised that I really really do not have the self control to prevent it from turning into very bad naughty smut (between hoses. Gawd!) and so I will stop here and simply continue with a nice and family friendly G-rated narration.

So I wondered to meselfs, how can I join two hoses of unequal size?

So I went to the local hardware store and they helped me out a little bit and I ended up buying some hose clamps and I had this old switch thing lying around. And yes. That is my foot in the photograph. Some people like feet. A lot. *Clearly trying to get more pageviews*.

So I connected skinny white tube to the switch thing (is there another word better than switch? Valve! I think. Valve for plumbing, switch for electronics? Who knows...) and tightened it nice and purty.

Hmmm. Me fat hose ain't got no thread. How to attach? I know! Like old Greek lady at the hardware store said! HOSE CLAMP!! WOW!

Before we engage in intertubal penetration, you must of course first get things all heated up. I soaked old greeny in hot water so that it would grab tighter. Onto the thread of the metal that is.

Hose clamp on. Isn't macro so pretty?

SHOCK HORROR. I joined them together but it was LEAKING. ARGH.

Clearly the two tubes were engaged in unsafe intertubal relationships. Time to introduce some rubber. To prevent leakage. And slipping. I think it's rubber anyway. Silicone tape? Daddy taught me all these joyful things before he disowned me!

See! All wrapped up and ready for action!

See! Tap is on and no leakage! Voila! SUCCESS!!

Strange improvisation. Nice set-up if I do say so myself.

And now for a preview of what's to come next time, on How We Fix Crap That Should Be Thrown Away! We can a sneak peak into what everyone else is drinking!! Yes! We get the see the crap that's left behind in the water distiller from a few months of distillation!!

Yes good citizen! This is inside of you! And not me!! Haha. Nah. Your kidney's probably got rid of all the junk. Aren't you lucky you have kidneys? Say Alhamdulillah!


Amna 25 July 2008 at 1:54 am  

Only you could make fixing a distiller sound dirty *desk*

Incidentally, my family is one of those who wholeheartedly believe in the awesomeness of our flouridated tapwater (read: they're Paki and hence too cheap to invest in a distiller. Joy). Thank God for my kidneys \(^___^)/

Ahmad 26 July 2008 at 3:46 am  

Haha. Yes. It's a talent I'm afraid you just weren't born with. *chortle-snigger*.

I sometimes wonder what this ---> \(^___^)/ is meant to mean. Happy face with big ears? Hands up in joy?? Weird trapezoidal face?