PIZZA!

It's official. I should be given the Nobel Prize for Foodies this year. Guess what I did!? I made a PIZZA that tastes like a BIG MAC. YES! I made a pizza taste like a burger. I am SO amazing. Praise me! PRAISE MEE!!

Ok, it was my turn to make iftar, and I was really not in the mood for rice and/or other Asian foods (yes, I know I are Asian PHAIL). All we had was mince meat, so I randomly started asking people what to make with mince meat. Nahyan suggested pizza. "Hmmm..." I said. I've never tried making much Western savoury food. I didn't know how to make it anyway LOL.

When a 21st century teenager needs to know something, who does he ask? GOOGLE of course! I searched, "How to make pizza dough," because that is basically all you need to know; the toppings are pretty much experimentation.

I came across eHow.com which showed how to make a pretty good dough. I didn't have many typical pizza ingredients in my fridge so I just dumped anything and VOILA! Tasty!

Big-Mac Pizza!

INGREDIENTS:

500 g plain flour
1 and 1/4 cup warm water
Packet of dry yeast
(usually 15 g I think)
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 tablespoon of vegetable oil

Chilli sauce
Dijonnaise mustard
(yes, you read right. MUST HAVE!)

Some raw mince meat
Some left over kima-aloo mince meat
Mushrooms
Cucumbers
Onions
Spring onions
Red chillis

Cheese slices
(NOT mozarella)

MY SPECIAL METHOD:

First, dissolve the yeast into the warm water in a large bowl and leave it until you see some bubbles. Mix the flour into this and knead it into a dough (HAHA! That makes it sound so easy. If your kneading by hand, knead until you get arthritis and your dough is all smooth and shiny. Or use a machine with a dough-hook.) Oh yeh, I forgot to tell you, add the oil and salt. I think that was meant to be done a bit earlier, but anyhoo...

Cover the dough in oil (like kinda rub oil over it? LOL) and put it in a bowl (oil the bowl too. We like our oil.) Cover the bowl with cling-wrap and leave the bowl in a warm place (like next to the stove after mummy made iftaari) until it at least doubles in size (SERIOUSLY! It gets really fat, its so cool). This takes like 45 minutes. This is what I ended up with:

As you can see, not a very smooth surface. I used my HANDS ok!! My wrists hurt after that. I wonder how all those grandmas do it without getting huge biceps. Anyway, this would be a good point to preheat your oven to the highest setting it has. REALLY! That gives a nice crisp crust. Most ovens only go up to 220 degrees celsius. It's good enough.

Roll out your dough into a pizza-base, as thick or thin as you want, remembering that the dough does rise a little bit during cooking. Then the fun stuff starts! I covered it with a layer of chilli sauce (like the hardcore Asian type) and then a layer of dijonnaise mustard. Dice up the onions, chillis, spring onionsm cucumbers and mushrooms and chuck them over it. Then cover it with the meats. You should end up with this prettiness:

YUM! I want to eat it again! Usually most normal people would then cover the pizza with mozarella cheese. Unfortunately, one, I'm not usually considered a normal person (for good reasons of course) and two, we didn't have any mozarella. I was gonna use feta, but then I remembered that feta doesn't really melt. LOL. I chucked on some cheese slices, in a nice pattern of course, and popped the bugger into the oven:

I left it in there for a while, about 20 minutes. The cheese kinda oozed everywhere and didn't stick to the pizza very well. Ah well. It tasted really nice. Did I mention it tasted like a Big Mac? I think it was the combination of cheese, onions and mustard. Oooo! It was SO good!

Mum told everyone to go pray and then eat, but I snuck in a few bites. What!? I MADE IT OKAY!! Great success! Maybe white-people food ain't so bad after all. After I was done, the evil kitchen wall monster reminded me of what to do next:

L-O-L.

3 comments:

lostie 1 November 2007 at 12:10 pm  

wat the.. do u understand this???

The Evil Lemon 1 November 2007 at 12:13 pm  

Yes. I secretly know how to speak espanol and I just pretend I don;t know how so people will think I'm normal and love me forever.

Not. ITS SPAMM YOUU SPAMM!!!

rai 1 November 2007 at 6:40 pm  

wat the hell...u can have spam on blogs?? the world is sooo corrupted
and no. just cos ur normal wont make ppl love u forever
u gotta earn it!! learn something from the loser "charles foster kane"!!!